Two Months

It is late, so I am going to be short and sweet, but I had to write something because my sweet baby is two months old today!

I have decided though that all future posts will go on the family blog. This one is going to be retired, it is just too much to keep up with both. So tonight is the last time I will post. I will leave it active for a little while, but don't intend to post anymore. We'll see!

Tune in to http://tiffanyandben.blogspot.com!

What a Week

I am not going to lie, this has been one of the hardest weeks I can recall. It has really taken a toll on my mental health I think, but it is Friday and we will all survive. Earlier this week, I had a breakdown and began having some very real fears of postpartum depression triggered no doubt by my return to the workforce, but I think that just being aware of that potential and talking it through with Daddy and others close to me has and will help me to move forward in a healthy way.

One thing that does seem to be helping me mentally is pumping. I am sure that seems very odd and it isn't that I like feeling like a dairy cow, but it gives me time throughout the day to think about you and feel like I am still doing something for you despite being absent from your life each day.

Luckily I seem to be pumping more than you are eating so we are slowly building up a good little stash so that Mommy and Daddy can occasionally have date nights. I am shocked at how easy this is going so far and just pray that we can go a whole year. So far you have still not had one drop of formula!!

You seem to be doing okay at day care. She says you sleep mostly and wake up right before you are ready to eat. I don't mind all that sleeping because you have been awake and full of smiles for me all evening each day. Your smiles are so adorable!

You are seven weeks and growing like a weed! We don't go to the doctor until the 18th, but I know you are eating plenty.

You are finally taking a pacifier. We have an entire assortment of ones that you will not take, but that doesn't matter because you now take one of them!!

You are starting to sleep on your own just fine, although I am guilty of not always putting you back in your bassinet after you sleep because I am soo tired!

This Sunday we are doing your baby dedication! I am super excited about that. Standing in front of the whole church and dedicating you to the Lord and vowing to be your primary faith trainers. And knowing that we have such an awesome church that is going to do so much to help us in that journey. I will post pictures and details from that in a few days.

In a couple weeks you are going to go on your first road trip! I can't wait to see how that goes, and for you to meet your great grandmothers. And some of Mommy's crazy aunts, uncles and cousins ;)

That is about it for now, until I think of more, XOXO!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

6 Weeks and back at work

The update is five days past due, but better late than never.

I am writing this via email/blackberry because I am pumping. Yep, today is my first day back at work and I feel like a cow on a farm. I come in every 3 hours. It is kind of odd, but in the end it is the best thing for you and it is the one thing that I feel like I can give you since I am not able to stay with you.

I probably shouldn't even get started on that subject because I (stupidly) am not wearing waterproof mascara. Let's just say that I miss you terribly and want so badly to rush home and get you and spend the next 24 hours loving on you and trying to make it up to you that I abandoned you and left you with some random person that isn't related to you for an entire day. How am I going to do this every day and be able to live with myself?

Oh yeah, back to your update! I will have to post pictures later, although I will try attaching a couple that are on my phone.

I finally created and sent out your birth announcements!! Now that everyone probably knows you are here.

Your sleeping pattern hasn't really changed yet, but your eating habits seem to be evening out more and more all the time.

You are growing like crazy!! The newborn outfits have to be stretched to fit you, so they are basically out of the question. Newborn diapers have been a thing of the past for a couple weeks now. Socks that at one time were loose on your precious, tiny little feet... Now leave little marks to show that you are outgrowing them. What hit me the hardest though, was when I put on 0-3 outfits and they fit perfect. Shouldn't they be kind of big still because they are supposed to be for up to 3 months?! You really need to slow the growing down.

I am able to get you to smile all the time now! You have no idea how much that makes my day!

Oh, and this coming Sunday (Mother's Day) we are doing Parent/Baby dedication at church. More on this later in another post.

Time to wrap up. I love you and miss you soo much right now!!

- Mommy

5 Weeks

My titles have really been boring lately. Sorry about that... I will try to be more creative in the future.

I am writing this via email on my Blackberry with you sleeping peacefully on my chest, so I am going to try to keep it fairly short. And I will post pics in another post.

Does the "back to sleep" rule apply when on mommy or daddy's chest?

I tried to measure you today and you seem to be about 22 inches. You are still about 10 pounds, so you have hit a plateau. Of course, you still seem to be eating a decent amount of the time.

I still have about 15 pounds to lose though, so I think you should maybe eat more. Maybe.

On a brighter note, my face has finally cleared up from the horrible post baby breakout that appeared on my chin right after I had you. It only took 5 weeks, R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!!

You, my little man, have your own acne problems. But yours comes and goes in a matter of days and sometimes hours. Not weeks! I think it has to do with your eating and my arms and oil and dirt and all that good stuff.

You are holding your head up on your own more and more and your smiles seem pretty darn intentional!

I thought I had more to report, but as usual it is slipping my mind. Will post later as things come back to me.

P.S. Your eyes are still blue so far!

- Tiffany

4 Weeks / 1 Month

Pictures of my sweet little angel at 4 weeks (April 15)...
You looked everywhere EXCEPT at the camera!!

I took some pictures of you at one month too (April 18)...
Again, no looking at the camera. And you weren't too keen on the pacifier either! That is the onesie that your Auntie B made you! Cute!

I have been meaning to post for a few days now because I think of all sorts of things I meant to say after I am done with my weekly post. Like the fact that I have nicknamed you Thumper because you have a twitchy leg. I am pretty sure this comes from your Papa! He has a twitchy leg too!

Or the fact that you are already over ten pounds! You are gaining like a pound a week! That weight was last week, I will have to weigh you again and see if you are continuing that trend for your 5 week post.

Then there is the fact that you are smiling quite frequently for me. I am not really sure if it is intentional or not, but I love it! You mostly do it for me, but Daddy says he has seen one or two.

And have I mentioned that you do not really like sleeping in your bassinet? You prefer to be snuggled up right beside me. I must say that I love cuddling with you too, and it makes it easy to feed you in the middle of the night... but we are going to have to get you used to sleeping on your own soon. I don't want you to get used to sleeping with me and start refusing your own bed and end up with you sleeping in our bed for the next five years!

Everyone always comments on your one dimple and I just realized I don't think I have ever pointed it out on here. It was pointed out to me in the hospital, and is especially precious because I have one dimple (and a cute story to go along with it) and Austin has one dimple too! My boys take after Mommy!

Speaking of taking after me, so far it still appears that you might have lucked out. It really looks like you will have blue eyes... or at least something that isn't brown. That could always change, but I am just in shock that it is even a possibility you might end up with non-poopy eyes!!

You are starting to move your arms around a lot. I have used that to start hitting at your brother and poke his eyes (at least he is convinced that is what you are doing)!! And I have started putting you on your playmat, where you are now interested in the toys hanging and the sounds and lights.

I am sure I will think of more that I have left off, and hopefully if I do I will make time to get on and post. I will leave you with a few more pictures.

XOXO and all my love,

Mommy

Three Weeks

I can't believe I am only posting on a weekly basis. It seems so difficult to find the time (and peace and quiet) to complete an entire post.

Have I mentioned in any past posts how much you are eating? I am sure I have, but I will do so again. Mostly because that is all that is on my mind. When is he going to want to eat again. Do I have long enough to ____ (fill in blank with any random task here).

The list of tasks that are unfinished is ridiculous. I am barely getting out to do anything because I feel like the house needs to be in perfect condition before I can justify doing anything else. And I am starting to get this unsettling feeling that the house is never going to be perfect and that I am wasting away my maternity leave trying. I just need to get a maid already. Think we can find any volunteers?

You are awake so much these days. And when I say awake, I mean your gorgeous eyes are wide open! I love actually seeing you when you are eating. And you hold my hand. It is the most amazing feeling. Oh, but the best is when you smile!!! I am sure it isn't intentional yet, but you have the happiest, sweetest little smile and I just cannot wait to catch it on camera.

This past Sunday you went to the nursery during Sunday School so that I could help Daddy with the lesson. Luckily we made it through the story before I was paged to come and feed you! And you ate so much that I thought SURELY you would be content through service. Yeah right!! I was again rushing to the mother's room to feed you and watching service on the TV! It seemed like everyone in the nursery wanted to hold you and others that are in different rooms were sad to find out that you weren't in their room so they could hold you.

You really are so precious to hold. I find myself hugging and kissing on you non-stop. I just want to cuddle you and keep you like you are now a little longer. I know it will all be over before I am ready and it saddens me when I remember that...

Last night I almost broke down and gave you formula. I don't know if I was just extra sleepy or if you had really just eaten so much that I wanted a break, but it was about 3 in the morning and I didn't think I could take anymore. And I know that formula is more filling and would help you sleep more than one or two hours. And we have it on hand from the hospital and the free samples they mail. But you finally feel asleep right about the time I was crying to Daddy that I didn't know what to do, and when you woke up at 5ish, I was fine again.

Some nights are great, and some nights you seem to want to eat more frequently than I am prepared for. I don't know if I have mentioned this in a while, but I really (I MEAN REALLY) like to sleep. But for the most part, we are getting through just fine! I just hope your eating regulates by the time I go back to work. Otherwise that will be very difficult.

You stayed with a "sitter" for the first time this past weekend. If you can call Noni a sitter! It was Mommy and Daddy's five year anniversary. I think that I probably drove Daddy crazy because after about an hour away, all I wanted to talk about was my babies! Of course, it didn't help that anytime I think or talk about you, my chest starts to get a little sore because it figures you are probably ready to eat.

I wish I had an update on your height weight, but our next appointment isn't until May 18! Maybe I will try to weigh you with me on my scale... just for our records.

Here are a couple more pictures!!

This one was actually two weeks, look at that blond hair!

Your first outdoor outing, the Outdoor Learning Center

Hanging out at an Easter playdate... this was about all you did (besides eat)

Three weeks old

Two Weeks

How do I slow down the clock. I cannot handle how fast this time is flying by. Or how fast you are growing. We had your two week check-up yesterday. You are now 8 pounds and 20.5 inches and your head is 14.25 inches. You just keep growing on me. I know that technically is a good thing... but I really wish it would slow down some.

Obviously you are eating plenty, and don't I know it!! You have mostly gone back to normal eating patterns, but you have your moments when you decide to eat every hour or so.

I felt horrible when they did the second round of the newborn screening and had to prick your heel and squeeze the daylights out of your foot. You were doing the newborn cry that I haven't heard since two weeks ago!! No amount of kissing or loving was calming you down. But you immediately stopped crying when she stopped messing with you.

Here are a couple pictures of you at two weeks! Mimi took some tonight too that should be pretty cute.

Showing off your eyes

Hanging out with your eyes open

Sleeping with your daddy.

You are trying to hold your little head up on your own occasionally. It is very cute! Oh, one thing that I never reported was your tendency to pee. First it was as soon as I took your diaper off. I don't remember ever having that issue with Austin though I was always warned that little boys do that. Now you just wait until I put a fresh diaper on. I am not sure which is worse!!

And just for kicks... my 40 week belly pic!!

That's it for now... until I think of more!

An Eventful Weekend

This was a very eventful weekend for you. First off though... your umbilical cord fell off yesterday! I thought it was on pretty tough and then Saturday night when cleaning it I realized it was actually only on by a tiny little strand. It had started bleeding a tiny bit and spotting your clothes. Then when I took your onesie off yesterday morning, it was gone. Well, it was in your onesie, but not part of you anymore.

Besides that, Saturday we went to a crawfish boil for you to meet a bunch of your future friends. There were about four pregnant women there, all due between now and June. And of course Austin and that generation of babies that are all friends. It was a good time.

And yesterday you attended church for the first time. Of course, you got hungry as soon as service started... I will have to work on timing. I brought a bottle with 3 oz of milk thinking that should be plenty, but no. I dashed out of the sanctuary before you started screaming and down the stairs where a nice woman saw me looking around frantic and took me to the "mother's room". I was so excited to find out there is a room for nursing mothers that has a TV so I could continue to watch the sermon! Hopefully next weekend will be a little easier.

Speaking of easier, I realized just how much life has now changed. Getting ready for church (or even to just run a quick errand) now takes FOREVER! Getting Austin around and myself and you. Having to put everything on pause throughout the process for you to eat. And then eat again.

Did I mention how much you have been eating the past 48 hours? I don't think I got nearly enough sleep last night because it felt like you were eating all night. Probably a slight exaggeration, but I can't be sure! It has been about the same story so far this morning. So much so that I wasn't even able to get around in decent time to take Austin to daycare. So he is spending a nice day at home with us. Luckily, he is starting to finally adjust and go back to being himself. Potty training and all!!

Got to go, time to eat... again!!

The First Bath

We were taught in our discharge class this time around that it is no longer necessary to avoid regular baths until the umbilical cord falls off. So, tonight was your first real bath (as opposed to the wipee bath I have been doing). Here are some pictures, you seemed to really love it. At least until we took you out!

I love how you are holding on for dear life!
All snug in your hooded towel
Clean, dry and wide awake!
Hanging out with big brother!

More Pictures

Here are just a couple more pictures from the first week...

Daddy giving you your first (and only) bottle.I couldn't get a good pic of you in this outfit!
Hanging out with your brother!
He is trying to give you another kiss, it looks like you are pushing him off!
Your favorite past time!

Oh, and I am very happy to report that last night was the first night I did not have to get up in the middle of the morning to pump! Looks like things are finally regulating. Oh, I haven't really discussed your sleeping/eating patterns. You sleep through the night like a champ, only waking up about every 3-4 hours to eat and then return to sleep. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for that and I pray that does not change. I don't know that I could handle less sleep. Especially with an energetic (and rebellious lately) toddler.

Alright, off to do more cleaning and thank you notes! If nesting was supposed to end when you were born, maybe it wasn't time yet!! Yesterday I found myself cleaning the bathroom door!! If this keeps up, the house will be immaculate by the time I go back to work. If only it would stay that way!! I wish I had had about a week at home to do all of this before I brought you home... I cannot even imagine how much I would have accomplished then!

One Week Old

We had your first non-hospital doctors visit yesterday and it went great! You didn't have to get any shots this time around, so it was just a weigh and measure and look you over kind of appointment. You are almost back to your birth weight, which shows them that you are eating great. They usually allow about 10 days for that. And you either grew one inch in one week or they didn't measure you right at the hospital, because you are already 20 inches. We go back next Tuesday for your two week appointment. The day before your actual due date.

After your appointment, Daddy and I decided I have been couped up long enough and since I feel great, we decided to go and walk the mall. Technically I shouldn't be doing that much walking yet, but I can't sit at home forever and I need to get back in shape at some point. So your first real outing was walking Katy Mills Mall. You did so good. When you got tired of being in the stroller, I put you in the sling and you stayed peacefully in there the rest of the trip.

I am also very proud of myself, because I managed to breastfeed you like that. There I was walking around the mall with you in the sling, eating. It was completely discreet and very unlike me. I had to be in a room all alone to feed Austin!

Breastfeeding is going great. You eat like a champ and I have been producing like crazy. In fact, I have already built up a nice reserve. Of course, that has meant lots of painfully full days and lots of pumping to relieve it. And there is one side that hurts like no other for the first few minutes when you latch on with your fierce grip. But I am getting through it. Plus, anytime I feel guilty for getting the epidural, I tell myself that this pain has gone on much longer than that pain would have... so I don't feel so bad!

Today you are one week old. The biggest milestone so far is that you have finally decided to start spending more time with your beautiful eyes open. There is nothing more wonderful than just cuddling with you and staring at your eyes. Daddy and I try to cherish every minute of it.

Speaking of Daddy. He had to go back to work today. I am very sad about that because it has been so nice spending time together. We didn't really have that with Austin because he had just started that job. Although it is nice to catch up on things around the house, which is easy to do since you still love sleeping!

I cannot believe that it has already been one week. It has flown by and has me so worried that the next five are going to do the same. It is going to be so hard to part with you when I have to return to work.

Heading Home

It is finally time to go home! Daddy and I have been going a little stir crazy here in the hospital. I am feeling terrific and ready to get to the house and be comfortable. My doctor cleared me to go home yesterday if I wanted, but alas the pediatrician was questioning your jaundice levels and wanted to keep you overnight. Thank goodness they decided that it wasn't necessary to keep you even longer. I was all ready to call our pediatrician and see what my options were because I was not about to leave without you! Here are pictures of us getting all ready to go!

But first... an adorable picture of you and your cousin, Allyson! And a picture of you one day old...
Okay, here we are waiting for the nurse to give us the all clear!

Hooray, we can go!! All snuggled up in your carseat... two days old!

Daddy looks like he is curling weights!

Your Birth Story

Well, as much as I prayed, stressed and cried (I know, counter-productive)... We packed up the car, made plans for Austin and headed to the hospital at 5:30 this morning. Surprisingly, I slept better than expected. Though daddy was not quite as lucky.

We got into the hospital, signed the necessary paperwork and got all set up. (Noni has some cute "before" pics) I was right about the contractions, every five minutes. However, they were not helping things along. They started me on a low dosage of pitocin and broke my water at 7:30. For the next couple hours, I had more frequent contractions, but they must not have been doing very much and they weren't painful. I was thinking that I just had an incredible labor tolerance... ha, was I wrong!

Sometime after 11, they increased the dosage of pitocin and almost immediately, the pain ensued. Horrible, intense, intolerable pain!! The only thing that helped me through it was holding Daddy's hand. It didn't take but a couple of those and I was crying (literally) for the epidural. There went the birth plan!! As soon as those contractions started though, things happened so quickly. Just like with Austin. I had the epidural and then they checked and I was at about 8 cm. The nurse started rushing around getting the room ready and calling for them to get the Dr. there ASAP. She also made me wear an oxygen mask from then on because she was concerned about your heart rate.

Thank goodness the anesthesiologist was right down the hall and able to respond immediately. Here is a picture after the epidural... once I stopped sweating and squirming uncontrollably! Feeling good!

This time around, the epidural wasn't so strong that I couldn't tell what was going on. I had to wait for the I had to wait for the doc again this time once I hit 10 cm. When the doctor got there and was ready for me to push, I was actually able to. It made things much easier and with a little cut and a few pushes, you were born in a matter of minutes. They handed you right to me, without even wiping you down. That was pretty interesting, but you were beautiful and immediately brought tears to my eyes.

You were born at 12:52 p.m. Weighing 7 pounds 6 ounces and measuring in at 19 inches. Daddy and I are so happy!! You are absolutely perfect and healthy.

Big brother was so excited to finally meet you! He already loves you so much.

You aren't having any problems with breastfeeding... except for when you decide sleeping is more important than eating! Speaking of, that is about all you do so far! Sleep, sleep, sleep. It is a rare treat for us to see your eyes. Eyes that (at this point) have a blue color to them. I am very curious to see if you lucked out and were able to not inherit Mommies brown eyes?!

Final Update

I completely missed the 37 week picture... sorry! But here is the final set of belly pictures. That's right, because whatever happens you will be here by tomorrow. I have been really struggling with this decision, but as the hours pass it has become too late to change what has been set in motion and everyone seems to think this is the right way to go.

Yesterday morning when the doctor gave me the latest, he requested that I be induced by Wednesday, March 18th, if I don't go into labor before. I have been praying about it ever since and stressing out. I feel like I should not step in and alter what is to happen, but I am also very afraid of going into labor when he is not available and be at the hospital that likely won't have room for me. So now I am scheduled to be there at 6 am. It is still very unsettling to me, but too late to change things. So now I am letting everyone know the plan and still praying that you will decide to come and be a St. Patty's Day baby.

I don't know if it is nerves or what, but my contractions are about every five minutes and it really seems like I am in true early labor... but that doesn't seem to be good enough. I guess we will know more in the next 24 hours.

Here are the final pics... 38 weeks!

Anyone Starting a Baby Pool?

I feel like I have been saying all month "this could be the day" or "this could be the week" and I was starting to get very frustrated with how off I was. Until I realized this morning, I haven't entirely been off. See, I have essentially been in early labor for the entire month of March! It sounds crazy, but since I have been having contractions and dilating, I am technically in early labor. Talk about one drawn out labor!! Not that I mind at all! I will take these painless "practice" contractions and progression over screaming in the hospital for an extended period of time any day!

That being said, here is the latest... according to the fabulous doc, we are now "as far dilated as possible without being in active labor." And these "practice" contractions are coming every couple of minutes. I would say about 5 minutes apart most of the time... but not all of the time. It really and truly could be anytime now. This is not just me being crazy anymore!

In fact... the doctor is convinced that if it doesn't happen in the next couple days, it is uncomfortably likely that it will happen this weekend (anytime after noon on Friday) and we will be stuck at West Houston with a different doctor. Therefore, given that and the progression we have already, he does not want me to go past Wednesday. More details on that soon, but hopefully that doesn't matter.

Daddy is convinced that we will have you in our arms before Wednesday and that you should be born on St. Patrick's Day. Which would be great because we have a cute little St. Patrick's onesie for you. That is also the docs birthday and he thinks that would be pretty special ;) No rush, just something to consider.

I found that this weekend was especially difficult mentally because I had it in my head that you would be here by now. I know, silly expectations. Of course, it didn't help that I was contracting constantly and convinced you were coming any second :) Now that we are past that hump, I find myself oddly at ease. And not just because of the news from the appointment, although that absolutely helped lock in the calmer emotions. Hopefully my crazy mental state is all better, for Daddy's and Austin's sake!!

We did more to prepare for your arrival. We did a little shopping with our gift cards, did more cleaning (I even cleaned out the pantry and wiped down the shelves) and re-cleaning, washed and packed your St. Patty's Day onesie (just in case), washed the new stuff we bought, and recharged the cameras that were in the hospital bag since the charge has been slowly dwindling! I can't really think of anything else that is left to do at the moment.

Another update from your appointment, the doc mentioned that you are starting to feel large. Even more reason for you to go ahead and come today/tomorrow... I do well laboring small babies and don't think you should get carried away plumping up in there!!

That about does it for now. See you really soon!!
And I will do a picture tonight... I keep putting it off and haven't done a timely 37 week photo!!